The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family (and 4 FREE Ways to Get it)
By Val Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
This holiday season, I’d like to remind you of the absolute best gift you can give your family…
Your own happiness.
I’m seeing so many women:
Put their goals on hold
Put their needs last
Take on the world with no help
Exhausted
Overwhelmed
What if you could show up this holiday season with a little more calmness, a little more peace, a little more joy?
Would your whole family benefit?
Peace, calm, and joy don’t cost a thing, but they do sometimes, especially in a year like we’ve had, take effort.
Here are 4 Ways to Work on Giving This FREE Gift to Your Family:
Ask for help.
Us women tend to take on an extreme load. On top of work… laundry, dishes, cooking, holiday shopping, helping kids with school, worrying about money, making sure everything is perfect. What if you just asked for help? You may get pushback, but stand firm. If you are stressed from doing too much, ask for help.
Exercise
Take a walk, go for a run, do a quick workout. You’ll feel better, I promise.
Practice gratitude.
We can’t make ourselves instantly happy. We can’t make ourselves instantly more joyful. But practicing gratitude can help. When you take a moment to focus your attention on the things you are grateful for instead of the negativity in your life, joy starts to creep in.
Join my FREE 5 Days of Good Stuff starting Nov. 30, 2020.
Each day you’ll get:
a mindset lesson
A quick 20 min fat burning workout
Fun giveaways
Nutrition help
Option to join live strength training workouts and test out online training with me.
A calmer, more mindful and even happier you could be just a few moments away.
Will you make giving this gift a priority?
Let’s leave the stress and overwhelm of this season and this year behind and give the best gift you can give… a happy you.
4 Steps to Grow Your Number 1 Muscle: Mindset Muscle
By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
"... a mindset is a set of assumptions, methods, or notations held by one or more people or groups of people. A mindset can also be seen as incident of a person's world view or philosophy of life." -- Wikipedia
Mindset is the number one thing deciding your success in…
A fitness program
A business venture
Relationships
Your level of happiness
Your level of peace
It’s one of the reasons I love working with women to develop confidence and a new mindset through fitness. A mindset shift affects every area of our lives.
I know that if I can help you grow your mindset muscle, the actual muscles (or goals that you have) will come along.
We all have stories we tell ourselves.
“I’m not strong.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I am not athletic.”
“I am too old, too far gone, too whatever.”
“My body will never….”
“My genetics….”
“I never stick to anything.”
“I quit.”
“I don’t have time.”
All of these thoughts are just stories you are telling yourself that do not serve you. Someone with a busier life than you is doing it. Someone with the same genetics as you is doing it. Someone in your situation has figured it out, and you can too if you are willing to do the mindset work.
Are you willing to grow? Are you willing to take a hard look at your internal dialogue?
To grow your mindset, you have to start self coaching yourself. Consider this:
C - circumstance
T - thoughts
F - feelings
A - actions
R - results
A circumstance you cannot change happened and led you to -> these thoughts that are -> causing you certain feelings which lead to -> you taking or not taking actions -> leading to your current results.
How do we shift?
You cannot change the circumstance, but you can change your THOUGHTS about the circumstance -> which will cause a ripple effect.
Possible Example:
Circumstance: Someone made fun of me as a kid about my athletic ability
Thoughts: I think I am not athletic
Feelings: I feel embarrassed to try
Actions: I don’t exercise
Results: I am feeling unhealthy, sluggish, out of shape
Now shift the THOUGHT:
Circumstance: Someone made fun of me as a kid about my athletic ability
Thoughts: Kids are silly. God gave me a capable body that can do whatever I train it to do
Feelings: I feel like trying
Actions: I exercise
Results: I reach my health and wellness goals
4 Steps to Growing Your Mindset Muscle
Recognize the stories you are telling yourself that are keeping you from your goal.
What circumstance did these stories originate from? Did something happen along the way to make you think this way?
What thoughts -> results have developed because of that circumstance?
Reframe your thoughts about the circumstance.
Check out my free resources for more mindset work.
A Key to Long Term Success: Give Yourself Grace
By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
So you are in a funk.
You fell off track.
You can’t seem to stick to the plan.
You went on vacation and blew it.
You haven’t been taking the time to do it.
What’s the dialogue going on in your mind about this?
Are you beating yourself up for the decision you made? Are you mean to yourself because you haven’t taken the actions you wish you would take? Did you start then quit and now you label yourself a quitter?
My best advice to help you truly move forward long term is:
Give yourself grace.
In other words, give yourself a pass.
Grace is defined biblically as a concept of “undeserved kindness”. It is showing compassion and love towards a person even if they might not appreciate it, return the favour, or even deserve it.
Grace is choosing to act positively towards someone who might even hate you, or have done wrong to you.
And when you give yourself grace, it is self compassion, self love, and the kindness you need from the person that matters most.
You are human.
You have a lot on your plate.
Life happens.
It’s absolutely NEVER going to be the case that you stick 100% to a plan you’ve set out for yourself. It’s unreasonable to think you could be perfect.
Good stuff causes us to need to pause: vacations, birthdays, rest days
Tough stuff causes us to need to pause: injury, illness, taking care of someone, figuring life out for a bit
Just give yourself the space, acceptance and grace to be human.
Take a deep breath.
Reset your goals.
And start again.
You are not Unmotivated, You are Exhausted
By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
“You are not lazy, unmotivated, or stuck. After years of living your life in survival mode, you are exhausted. There is a difference.” - Nakeia Homer
I love this quote I came across recently. It makes me think of so many of the women I work with or speak to about fitness.
I often hear women say things like…
I just need to find the motivation.
I’m lazy. I won’t do it.
I know myself, I won’t follow through. I’m stuck.
Lack of motivation, lack of energy, and lack of stick-to-it-iveness are not the root reason for why you won’t do what you need to do to get healthy, strong and fit.
You are not lazy. Look at all you do in a day for everyone else.
You are not unmotivated. I promise if your kids needed it, you’d make it happen with great determination.
You are not stuck. Although you may not see how to change your circumstance, there are some simple solutions that take no time… just a mental shift.
The root problem is that you have been going through your days, weeks, months, and even years taking care of everyone and everything else. You still haven’t decided to put yourself on your list of things to take good care of.
The solution is to start taking care of yourself too.
Start With a Scheduled Workout
When was the last time you said, “No I can’t. I need to exercise.”
Schedule in a morning walk or a workout… even if someone else needs to wait so you can get it done. Although you may lack energy to get started, the endorphins will have you feeling motivated in no time.
Start Eating to Fuel Your Body for Energy
When was the last time you made a meal around your goals instead of what someone else you love wants?
Your body is lacking the nutrition it needs for you to feel motivated.
Your body is lacking the water it needs to feel energetic and think clearly.
Start With a Decision That You Will Take Care of Yourself Too
The sacrificial woman giving all of herself to everyone else is really not what everyone else needs. The people you love need a strong, healthy and happy you that will be around for many years to come. You can eat a little better. You can chug a little more water. You can go for a walk. You have to.
Stop Saying You Can’t
Maybe you have been through a rough or exceptionally busy time. That’s in the past. Don’t let the you that was in survival mode dictate what this new you will do. You are capable of shifting your mindset. You are capable of standing up for yourself ..even if the critic is your own brain.
Give yourself some grace.
No more labeling yourself in a negative way.
Just get up and do something small today to take care of you.
Do You Need Self Improvement or Self Acceptance?
By Valerie Solomon
“Where we think we need self-improvement is often where we actually need self-acceptance.” - Lisa Olivera
I’ve been coaching women in fitness and nutrition for over a decade, but I often feel like I’m a life coach.
So much of my job as a personal trainer and helping women reach their goals has to do with mindset.
It’s not just about mindset to be motivated.
It’s not just about mindset to stick to the plan.
...But mindset to give ourselves some grace.
We are so hard on ourselves.
I find that the women that hire me are a certain type of women.
They’ve got motivation. They are not afraid to do what it takes to reach their goals…
It’s just that sometimes those goals are not something the world sees that they need to work on at all.
While it’s always inspiring for women to do what it takes to get healthy and strong to live an active life, could we do it without beating ourselves up along the way?
Too big thighs
(We see strong and powerful.)
Soft tummy
(We see a gorgeous woman we love to have an occasional cocktail with.)
Leaner.
(We see healthy.)
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I always quit.”
(You enjoyed vacation OR went through a pandemic OR an injury… Just get back to it.)
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just like cookies/tacos/wine.”
(We all do. You are human.)
Give yourself some grace.
If you’ve taken a break from your healthy habits, you can just get back to it. We all (myself included) have to do that from time to time. It’s normal.
If you feel like a failure at your diet, approach it with more freedom and grace next time with a focus on health (mental health too) and long term sustainability… sometimes that means to have the cookie/taco/wine without guilt.
If you are beating yourself up on the appearance of your body, ask yourself if what you are saying to yourself is what you’d want a daughter to say to herself. (Also you can listen to my Body Image webinar here).
Let’s approach our fitness journey a little kinder this week. Deal?
Strong Vibes Only
By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
Strong Vibes Only.
I chose this phrase to put on the tank tops I gifted my Val’s Gals training clients in the month of June, because my goal for them (you) ultimately, is to be strong.
Strong Backs, Legs, Arms, Abs, Glutes… of course.
But more importantly:
Strong Minds.
Strong Voice.
Strong Character.
Strong Opinions.
Strong Points.
Strong Words.
Strong Hearts.
Strong Wills.
Strong Kids.
Strong Relationships.
Strong Friendships.
Strong Bonds.
When you find your own ‘Strong’, sometimes through challenges and sometimes through exercise, you change.
You realize what you are capable of.
You realize what you deserve.
You realize that you can do, think, lift, and be more than you once thought.
Good vibes are great.
Skinny Dreams are something.
But Strong Vibes create ripple effects in the world.
When you are strong, you show up for yourself and others. You take up the space the world needs you take up. You carry the things the world needs you to carry. You are more bold and willing to show up as your true self.
I’ll take good vibes. But I’ll be happy with Strong Vibes Only.
How Many Days a Week do You Think About Changing Your Body? ...And 3 Questions to Ask Yourself
By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
How many days a week do you think about changing your body?
It’s 7 isn’t it?
Seven days. 365 days a year.
Even when you eat well...
Even when you exercise...
You think there must be something you should do better.
Drink more water.
Eat more protein.
Eat a different protein.
Eat more plants.
Eat less of that. Eat a little more of that.
I’ll be honest with you… I took this picture of myself thinking I’d write a post about loving yourself and your flaws. I thought I’d get a picture of all of the flaws I’ve been “seeing”. Not clear skin, nappy hair, soft arms, soft belly, dimply butt and thighs.
Then I looked at the picture and thought….
Damn. What is wrong with me? I look fine! OK! Great! Fit.
This happens so often with my clients, too. I get a message from them in which they express how they want to change something about their body and their frustrations about where they are physically.
I’ve learned to ask for a progress picture because, usually, what I will see in the picture is not what they see. I see healthy, strong, fit.
They see something that needs to change. The same image I love of them, is putting them in a negative state everyday.
So why are we telling ourselves everyday we need to change something?
Why are we creating unnecessary negative energy for ourselves?
Here’s why, I think.
We are driven women in all areas of our lives.
We want to do well in our careers.
We want to improve our relationships.
We want to be great mothers.
We are thinkers, and grinders, and hustlers. We know we’ve got more to give and we want to give it our all.
But to do better in these areas doesn’t require a negative energy internally like wanting to improve our bodies often does.
Why can’t we approach taking care of our bodies in the same way as being a good mother or friend? ...Just gently trying our best everyday… or just being ok with things as they are most days too?
When I was competing in fitness competitions, pushing my body hard 5-7 days a week, I was in a better headspace about changing my body than I am now. I saw it as a fun project just to see what I could do.
Now, I’m just hard on myself if I feel like I could be doing better. Grinding harder. Making better food choices. There aren’t too many days where I feel like I tried my best. (Is it because we have a past as an athlete? Our standards are high for what we know we are capable of. But is just enjoying a healthy and fit life enough now?)
There are very few days where we are ok with things as they are.
7 Days of wanting change. 365 days a year.
What if, for just one day, we didn’t try to change or think about changing anything.
What if for one day, we were just ENOUGH.
Enough already.
Just imagine what we could do with all of the new positive energy and contentment?
“Focus on what you want your life to look like—not just your body.” ~Sarah Failla
I love this quote, and it brings me to 3 questions to ask yourself:
Is your body allowing you the mobility and strength to live the lifestyle you want to live?
Are you strong and healthy?
Are you doing things to take care of your body consistently?
If you answered ‘yes’ to these, you are there! It’s in our nature to want to strive for more, but let’s be kind to ourselves and enjoy the healthy bodies that we have along the way.
And let’s be done with the questions:
Are you perfectly unattainably unsustainably lean?
Do you look like a fitness model perfectly photoshopped, posed well, airbrushed, and dehydrated when you wake up?
Are you that weight you were that time 10 years ago when you were your lightest but you were going through that stressful situation, weren’t strength training, and actually weren’t that happy?
I hope the answer is always ‘no’ to these questions, and I hope you can smile at how absurd they are!
If you are struggling with negative body image, check out this free video series to help.