By Valerie Solomon, Busy Mom Gets Fit
“Mediocre has always been ok with you.”
Late on a Friday night, I received this text from someone who’s known me for a big chunk of my life.
A jab...
Meant to cause pain...
Meant to put me in my place?
Clearly they aren't a fan, but how could they misunderstand me so much? I admit I scratched my head and screen shotted it to a friend or two (If I die today, is that really an impression I left on someone?), but I didn’t let these words cause me pain. I’ve let words do that before. I didn’t even text anything nasty back. I just said, “It’s funny you would say that.”
I haven’t always handled things so well. I’ve set out to try to convince people to change how they think about me. I’ve tried to be good enough for them. I’ve tried to submit a case and proof. But I know better now. I’ve learned that sometimes people will always believe what they believe, and I am just causing myself pain to try to change it. All I can control is how I think and what I believe.
And I know who I am. I decide who’s words affect me. I decide the truth of who I am.
It’s been a long and painful journey getting to this point of knowing who I am. But when you know firmly where you’ve been and where you now stand, no jab intended to inflict pain will bruise you. You’ll just laugh or shake your head in disbelief. You’ll just say, “It’s funny you would say that.”
When people make us their target and lash out, know this… it’s not about us. It’s about them.
So many times in my life, I’ve been ultimately thankful for those that were openly critical of me. People have relentlessly voiced opinions about my fitness look or endeavors, choices I made in relationships, how I choose to raise my kids and on and on. They caused me to pause and really think deeply to decide for myself if they were right about me or not. Do I believe what they believe about me? Making firm decisions for yourself about yourself is empowering.
Maybe it's the same science as how strong bodies are built. ...You get strong because your body is challenged, causing tiny tears that grow back even stronger.
We get to make a choice. We can choose to believe what others say when they intend to hurt us or we can choose to step boldly into who we know that we are.
I googled the definition of “mediocre” searching to see if somehow I had a misunderstanding of this word. Maybe it did in some way describe me? Maybe it could describe even one decision in my life? Uninspired? Lackluster? Average? Forgettable? So-so?
We can’t control what others think, how they feel, when they choose to lash out, or the fact that they are committed to misunderstanding us. All we can do is live a life that is true to ourselves, what we know ourselves to be, and how we want to show up in the world… and that is far from mediocre.
My few images from my mediocre life...
